Act Of God
by Ken Blackwell
Summary: The 18th's Teena Vs. the Third Angel Sachiel! Plot? We don't need no stinkin' plot! Just watch these two beat each other silly! But where's Shinji!


This wasn't how it was planned.

Shinji Ikari, the impromptu pilot of the Evangelion Unit 01, was supposed to have defeated the Third Angel, Sachiel, which was rampaging along Tokyo-3. EVA-01 was supposed to have been the one thing able to have stopped the seemingly unstoppable invader. But the inexperience of the boy may have proved to be his undoing, as EVA-01 was lying in a heap, badly damaged, the life of its pilot quite possibly snuffed out.

'Status report!' shouted Misato Katsurugi, Major to the organization involved in the Evangelion's creation, NERV. 'What's the status on Shinji's life signs?!'

'I don't know!' Maya Ibuki, one of NERV's top technicians, answered as she was beginning to panic. 'All connections to EVA-01 have been cut off! As well as Ikari's vitals!'

'Dammit...' Misato glanced to Gendou Ikari, head of NERV and Shinji's father, stoic as ever as he sat at his desk, staring intently at the downed EVA-01. _Gendou... your son, your only son, may have died tonight... you sent him out there to die...!_

'... Major!!' Maya shouted. 'There's a girl out there!!'

'What?!' Misato quickly turned her attentions to the viewscreen, seeing a beautiful cornsilk-tressed woman, her hair tied back in a braid with the back still free, ice blue eyes staring intently at Sachiel, and she was clad in a white T-shirt that read "CAPSULE CORP." on the chest, blue jeans, black motorcycle boots, and a short vest with a red-ribbon-like insignia with the numbers "1" and "8" on either side, the Kanji for "18" in the center. '... idiot... she's going to die...!'

'... maybe not...' Gendou replied. 'There's something... different about her.'

Misato blinked, looking to Gendou questioningly, then looked back at the blonde woman facing down Sachiel, which noticed her just now, cocking its twin-faced head curiously.

"Look at you..." the woman said in English. "Forget the ugly stick, they clocked you with the whole tree!"

Sachiel blinked at her statement. Then approached her, drawing back a fist.

'Not good!' Makoto Hyuga, NERV's chief tactician, stated. 'The Angel's attack... it must have all the force of a runaway freight train!'

'She's gonna get herself splattered!' Aoba Shigeru, NERV's data analyst, shouted.

'No...' Maya quickly averted her eyes a second before Sachiel's fist collided with the girl's body, and a cloud of dust kicked up, obscuring the cameras. '... poor girl...'

'At least it was quick... nothing we could've...' Makoto paused, his eyes wide as his glasses slipped a bit from his face. '... no way...'

'... she... she blocked...?!' Aoba gasped.

Maya blinked, opening her eyes and seeing what everyone else were seeing... which was impossible to even fantom. But it was true; a human (or was she?) woman, standing roughly over five feet, had indeed blocked the towering Angel's punch, and even more astonishing, had _NOT_ budged an inch from where she was standing. Even Sachiel hesitated, pulling back quickly and glaring at this more-than-human girl below it.

'... just how many laws of physics were broken just now...?' Makoto asked matter-of-factly.

'... is she another Angel?!' Maya wondered, then quickly checked the sensors. '... no, she... I can't read any AT Field on her at all!'

'A wild card...' Gendou said. 'This may work to our advantage. Major?'

'Yes, sir...' Misato nodded, and looked to Aoba. 'Patch me through to the PA systems outside. I'm going to communicate to this super-girl.'

'Roger!' Aoba flicked on a few switches on his console, and handed Misato a headset, who promptly put it on and immediately spoke into the mic piece.

'Hey! Girl!' Misato called out via the PA system, and the super-strong female paused, looking around.

"Huh?" She blinked. "Who's there?!" she then quickly dodged an attack from Sachiel, launching herself into the air and staying there, floating over the Angel.

'She can fly, too...!' Makoto observed. 'Remarkable!'

'That was English she spoke...' Misato realized, before turning her headset back on. "Listen to me!" she called out in near perfect English. "You must fight the Angel! Destroy it!"

"... Angel...?" The woman looked down at Sachiel, cocking her head. "If that's an angel, where're its halo and wings?"

"No time to explain, girl!" Misato shouted. "You must trust me, please!"

"The name's Eighteen, lady! And I-- WHOA!!" The girl gasped as Sachiel leapt at her abruptly, striking her viciously and sending her plummeting through a building. Everyone (save for Gendou, who was studying the events before him quietly) winced at the impact, and as the dust cleared, the girl with a number for a name was nowhere to be found.

'... it killed her...?' Maya whispered. Then blinked, seeing a blur of movement rush from the dust cloud. 'No! She... she's still alive!! Flying straight at--' Sachiel was suddenly rocked by a thunderous punch in the dual faces by Eighteen, followed by a kick and a spinning backfist, each attack sounding like a resounding sonic boom, the impact near deafening. '... what strength she must have to do that...!'

Eighteen flew back and threw her arms back, igniting from her palms twin discs of energy. With a shout she threw them at Sachiel, aimed at its arms and legs. But they ricocheted off of it, sending the discs spiralling away from the Angel.

"... a force field...?" Eighteen blinked. "You didn't tell me it had a force field, lady!!"

"It's an _AT_ Field!!" Misato corrected. "And I'm not 'lady!' It's Major Misato Katsurugi!"

"... AT Field? What's _THAT_ stand for? Annoying Tidbit? Aggravating Tumor? Anti-Terrific?!"

"LOOK OUT!!" Misato screamed, just as Sachiel threw its arm forward, and a spear-like projection shot out from its palm towards Eighteen. But with great speed and even greater agility she dodged the spear, arching her back as she flipped backward, her feet landing on the spear itself, then sprinting across it to Sachiel's arm and shoulder blocking it in its second face, sending the Angel reeling. It quickly regained its footing, and swung its arms out, aiming to crush Eighteen between its hands. But she blocked, keeping the hands from her just barely with her own arms outstretched, her teeth grit as a bead of sweat dripped from her temple.

"... I'm beginning to hate being 'Touched By An Angel.' And hit, pounded, attempted skewered, all around annoyed by an angel... so let's see how _YOU_ like it, ugly!!" Grabbing Sachiel's hands she shouted, "KAIO-KEN TIMES ONE HUNDRED!!!!" And Eighteen's strength skyrocketed to heightened levels as she flew back, jerking her arms out as hard as she could, and to everyone's utter shock, ripped Sachiel's arms off right out of the sockets, then proceeded to pummel the Angel repeatedly with its own arms.

'...' Misato paused, staring wide-eyed at the impossible scene before them. '... Hyuga-san, how many more laws of physics were just broken...?'

'... the rest of them...' Makoto answered.

'... figured as much...' Misato nodded, still dumbstruck.

Eighteen swung the arms down on top of Sachiel, forcing it to its knees. "That all you got?!" she taunted. "It ain't much if you ask--" she then stopped herself, watching new flesh bubble over from the Angel's shoulder stumps, immediately reforming into new arms. "... okay, that was freaksome..." Then quickly dropping Sachiel's former arms just as it fired a beam of energy at her. Taking evasive action Eighteen flew back, immediately throwing up her Barrier a split second before it would impact with her. Nonetheless, the result was the same, as a huge explosion in the shape of a cross ripped through the surrounding area.

'No!' Aoba shook his head. 'Major, that explosion just knocked out the PA systems! We can't communicate with that girl anymore!'

'Assuming she survived...' Maya added. 'It looks like the cameras are still working, though!'

'I need confirmation!' Misato commanded. 'Did she survive that?!'

'... I got something!' Makoto shouted. 'It's her! She's alive!!'

Indeed, she was there, floating above Sachiel and looking none the worse for wear, save for scuffs on her skin and parts of her clothes charred and torn, fortunately nothing inappropriate was bared on Eighteen's body.

'Quite remarkable...' Gendou stated. 'She took the Angel's attack head-on and lived.'

"..." Eighteen looked down at Sachiel, then at her ruined T-shirt. "This was a 290 zenie T-shirt you just charbroiled. I am _SO_ going to go all Apocalyptic on your sorry--"

Suddenly Sachiel was virtually bulldozed by a roaring purple mecha as huge as the Angel, taking Eighteen completely by surprise.

'EVA-01!!' Maya exclaimed. 'It's active!! And it's gone berzerk!!'

Eighteen blinked twice, watching EVA-01 viciously brutalize Sachiel right in front of her. "... okay, well..." she said as she slowly floated off. "... I'm gonna let you two get re-aquainted with the biting and punching and hurting and I'll be off on my merry little--"

EVA-01 suddenly swerved around, facing Eighteen.

"--... crap."

And it lunged at her with a deafening roar--

-- and Teena's eyes snapped open, waking from the dream. Sitting up, she calmly looked around, and finding herself where she was last night; gathered around her circle of friends... Bulma, Chi-Chi, Launch, Ran Fuan, and Mai, who were all sound asleep, as the six girls had held a slumber party and had spent the night in a Neon Genesis Evangelion marathon, watching it all from the first episode to the End of Evangelion movie.

For a moment, Teena watched the DVD main menu of EoE play, then sighed, opening the disc tray and placing the DVD back in its case, then noted the time of day the DVD player's LED readout had said. "5:15 in the morning. Better start on patrol."

Teena turned the TV off, looking to her sleeping friends with a small, gentle smile. Then she walked quietly to her room, softly singing that classic Sinatra tune.

_"Fly me to the Moon,  
And let me play amongst the stars.  
Let me see what spring is like  
On Jupiter and Mars._

_In other words,  
Please be true.  
In other words,  
I love you..."_

--FINIS. 


End file.
